


Déjà vu About Her

by Ikmas_b3L4



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Business AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-05 17:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ikmas_b3L4/pseuds/Ikmas_b3L4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nightmare...</p><p>That's what Eren's recent problem. But no, it's actually not a nightmare. It's familiar to a déjà vu, déjà vu that bring him to understand what's the real meaning of life is, the life with <i>someone</i> basically in his life once again. </p><p>Eren/Annie. Bussiness AU (I'm bad at Summaries, I'm sorry.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fly to New York

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic i have ever made. Please tell me if there are some mistakes. Thank you!
> 
> Psst, this chapter is a prologue actually...

 

“You’re flying to New York.” I frozen, the words totally took me off guard. Excitement and horror felt in my heart at the same time. 

“Why? It’s pretty far as crap, Bert. You gonna waste your money just because to sent me there?” I asked bluntly.

“I won’t but they will,” he tossed me the file, I opened it and saw the permission document we sent to the other company. We’re the one who asked for the offering, but the other company _is_ the one who paid for my fly. I don’t know how Bertholdt did that, but I admit that it was cool if he could force the other to do it. “What if I refused?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Then you’ll ruined everything and plus you’ll be fired.” He said straight with no hesitation. “And beside,” he continued, “I heard that you want to see _someone_ desperately there, correct?” he winked as I frowned at his statement. “Annie?”.

“Fine,” I growled. “I guess it couldn’t be that bad.” Is all the thing I said.


	2. Since I Dreamt It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's daily life, but not anymore.

 

Fire, fire everywhere. It burned the debris, flaming around me. I was going through them to find the source of the hopeless voice. As the voice getting closer, a girl with tears streaming her cheeks in my view. “My parents died, I don’t have anyone beside me now” the voice made me shiver “No one…. No one ever again….”

I gasped and open my eyes widely, the sunshine shining through the window filled my room. My eyes moved to the clock on the wall, 7.30 AM. I’m groaning and sat up after realizing I was dreaming.

“Why it keeps going through my mind?” I mumbled hide my face in my palm hand. Is it all a sign? Or just a certain nightmare? My thought halted as footsteps getting closer to my door. As I see a black haired girl wearing her chief uniform to go work opened the door. 

“Wake up Eren, You got a meeting to attend, didn’t you? I’ve never seen you wake up so late like this.” Mikasa said gently and makes me hinted if I had a meeting started around 8 o’clock. SHOOT! I only got 30 minutes to be ready! I moved out off the bed and running (more like sprinting) to the bathroom then brush my teeth in a hurry. After wears my uniform tidily I took my suitcase and get in to the car. Luckily, the apartment not so far from my working place so it’s only took 10 minutes to get there. As I glanced the time on my watch, I feel calmer and a relieved sigh come out from my mouth. _Good! 10 minutes before the meeting start_ , I thought in mind when come in to the meeting room.

“Mr. Jaegar? Is everything alright, you’ve never fucking late like this before.” The shorter blunt guy with sharp grey eyes looking at me curiously from his seat.

“There’s still 10 minutes before it start and you say I’m late? It’s all just…. A sudden, Levi.” I answered annoyingly to my own boss. Levi sighed irritately that hinted if he gives up and start the meeting immediately. The meeting feels gone pretty long since I wasn’t in mood today. I believe that Levi could read my face expression just now. As I walked out from the meeting room when it’s done, someone approaching me with a smirk on his face.

“Yo Eren, What’s up? Is something troubling you recently?” I glanced at the taller guy and look back to the sheets I hold.

“Just _Déjà vu_ , nothing special.” I answered bluntly without looking at his cocky expression.

“Oh really? It’s just because you’re the important guy for our company, doesn’t mean that you could slack off like that!” He said mischievously.

“Who cares, besides Levi won’t fire me anyway, cause I’m worth everything for this company. Oh, and you better get outta here or I’ll call Levi to shut your fuck up, Horseface!” I glared death him with a creepy expression in my eyes.

“Woo easy man, I will go right now, ok? But just let you know, you’re not gonna be alone after this. She’ll cooperate with you, understand?” As I stopped my walk and open my eyes wider wanted to ask Jean _what the hell was that mean_ instead of looking him gone to the other direction and chuckled under his breath. I groaned and go to my room finishing some works that should be done. 

 

* * *

 

“Eren, you’re in?” a voice from behind the door knocking twice as I was focused to my laptop screen.

  
“Yeah, come in!” I let the person in, as I see it was Levi brought some sheets on his hand. “Another _shits_? Are you want to give me a cancer?” I asked angrily.

“No, but I want you to agree with it. It’s an offering permission from other company. They ask us to cooperate with them to make some new product. I believe that Jean has _spoiled_ it already to you.”

“Sorry, I’m not a friendly person to collaborate with someone. Why don’t you ask Jean to do it?” I answered him not caring about the statement.

“He will fly to London and stay there for around two months, beside you’re more better at discussing business instead of solving about it. So, you better accept it with no excuse. It’s an order!” He said it with a merciless look towards me.

“Fine, but if the person not getting comfortable with me, blame yourself about it! Just curious, who the heck that will stuck with me for a while anyway?” I raised my eyebrow, trying to have the same intimidating expression as Levi’s.

“I’ll just let that as a surprise for you. She’ll arrive here around Friday afternoon from Berlin. You better acting nice to her or else I’ll fucking force you to smile.” As he leaving my room and close the door, I sighed then take a look at the sheets he gave me. German, huh? And it’s a woman, never thought if it will be a ‘her’. A growl just stopped my thought about it, remembered that I haven’t taken a breakfast this morning.

 

* * *

 

“I’m home!” I opened the door and toss myself to sofa.

“Hey Eren, so how’s your meeting going?” The girl that woke me up in the morning asked me.

“Fucking longer than I thought” I answered with closing my eyes and buried my head inside my arm.

“You never get up late before, is something troubling you?”

“Ugh, it’s just some recent _Déjà vu_!” I sat up then take the remote control to switch off the annoying sound from TV.

“If I could know, what is the Déjà vu like? You seems pretty bad when dreaming about it. I meant…. I heard you screaming so hard when you slept.”

“I won’t tell you no matter what, anyway don’t you have a night shift today? You better get going already, _Mom_.” I ignored to tell her about it.

“Oh well, I know you won’t tell me about it. Then, good luck dealing with your nightmare again, I guess.” Mikasa then took her hat also a flashlight, going out from the room and close the door. I stared blankly at the ceiling as I fell asleep at the sofa because of the pretty tiring day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is unbeta-ed, so if there were some mistakes, please tell me about it... I'm sorry if there is some mistaken


	3. Blue Eyes are The Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren meets Annie, but it's not work out so well

 

Another pain morning with some sheets piled up on my desk. I never thought it would be such a damn eyesore like this. Hence, I decided to go out from my room and take a walk to the dispenser. 

As I was wanted to go back to my room, I heard a voice like a lifeline talking with Levi in his room. It stopped me since I’m pretty curious with the voice. When I take a glance a little from the window, I saw a blonde hair tied up in a bun neatly. Also the blue-sky sharp eyes looking at Levi while he’s explaining. My eyes open wider and mouth fell open when I saw her rosy-like lips moved perfectly while she’s talking, the most perfect lips I have ever seen all this time. I bit my below lip as feels really hungry of it. Wait, could it be… that she’s the one who will be with me for a while? It’s Friday already? How could it past so fast till today? 

My thought halted as she’s looking back at the direction when I was looking at her. Dang! She must be realized that I was watching her for a long time for sure. I turned away and running back to my room. I felt heat on my face while on the way, Did I just blushing? The heck how could it happened to me? I’m groaning and closed my face with my hand, try to close the blush that still visible I assure.

I sit back to my seat. And continued working on some sheets. My mind still couldn’t stop thinking about that rosy-like lips. As my train of thought stopped immediately when someone knock the door.

“Oi brat, you’re in?” I heard Levi’s voice from outside. God dammit! He must be willing to introduce her to me. I felt nervous in a sudden that makes me shiver instead.

“Y-yeah come in!” I answered trying my best to stay calm and not showing my nervous face. As Levi coming in, my eyes stayed at the laptop screen and make a frowning expression so no one knows anything about my nervousness. I saw her walking in right behind Levi following him.

“So, I wanted to introduce you to my best coworker. Ms. Leonhardt, this is Eren Jaegar. Eren, this is Annie Leonhardt.” As I heard Levi introducing us each other, we shake hand and I looked at her eyes for a moment. The way she looking at me is pretty sharp, sharper than I ever thought. But I could see there was some hint of confusion in her eyes that makes me wondering what is.

“Ms. Leonhardt will be here around two months, she will work in Jean’s room while here. I hope the cooperation could gone well! I’ll leave you both here to discuss about it right now.” As Levi leave both of us in my room, he gives me a death glare that says _‘Try to be nice to her or else!’_ I believe. I sighed slowly and let her sit on the chair right across mine. I was mainly don’t have any topics to bring for the conversations. But luckily, she brings me to it.

A voice starts to speak with a German accent that’s pretty familiar. “Anyway, what should I call you? Mr. Jaegar? Sir? Or just-“

“Eren, it’s fine.” I interrupt her before she able to finish it, even though she looks pretty younger than me but it would be nicer if she calls my name than call me _sir_ , cause it makes me feel older than my age supposed to be already.

“Can’t believe that I will be stuck for two damn months in this town again!” As I heard a slow grumbled underneath her breath that still hearable enough, I turn my head to give her a confusion look. And still can’t believe what I just heard from her mouth.

“Excuse me? Did you just say something that inappropr-“

“If you really did hear it, then you don’t need to ask!” Another scoff just spit out from her mouth. My train thought of liking her at first, turning out to hating her instead want to get away from her. I’ve tried my best to be nice at her since Levi told me so, but I don’t have the mood to do it again now.

“Levi said that you will working in Jean’s room, then why don’t you go there already?” With an annoying look, I’m trying my best to kick her out from my room in other way.

“I just arrived here around 5 minutes, and you’re trying to kick me out already? What a insolence attitude!” She shook her head in disbelief and makes my temper goes on the highest limit.

“Look bitch! You better apologize what you just said earlier or else I’ll-“

“ **OR** else what?” I feel Goosebumps as she gave me her horrifying glare that pretty killing enough. I thought everyone always get afraid with my annoying look, but it all turns out oppositely different between me and her. “Did I just hear you said ‘bitch’ to me? Wasn’t that inappropriate?” Shit! Looks like she’s pretty skilled at arguing stuff. I have no choice but surrender and tries to chase away the argument.

“Ugh, Nevermind. Sorry about earlier if I called you that. Now, can we talk about this problem that should be done?” This time, try to calming myself down and asked her gentler than before (but still in angry mood).

Then I saw her rolled her eyes. “Fine, but I don’t think it would turned out well.” She said with honesty tone, like she knows that we **ARE** not easy to talk to each other. As I would guess it’s all true, when we try to solve things like it supposed to be. Turned out with arguing against each other.  Yet, it always end with silence since I keep losing my cool under her glare (arrest). I keep frowning because I don’t have any words to shout at anymore. This day is the most painful day I’ve ever had, the fact that I will be stuck with an arguing master for **TWO** months.

I walked out from my room after _‘cooperate’_ with her (more like arguing) for the first time, as I saw Jean still in his room tiding his belongings with Annie helping him out with having some conversation. Wait, I thought that that horseface has gone to London already? It’s all makes sense now why she was keep stayed in my room while we arguing. I decided to left and walk to the lift as Jean approaches me in a sudden.

“So, how’s it going anyway?” I saw his hand brought some belongings that piled up, it looks pretty heavy enough.

“Socialize doesn’t fit me all this time, never.” I answered bluntly looking away at another direction.

“Oh really, then what you think of her?”

“She’s such a pain in the ass!” I muttered with the same expressions.

“No, no… she’s such a HOT in the ass!” His dirty mind must be drove him crazy once again. I sighed frustrated and kicked him on foot immediately.

“Hey! What’s with that kicking on th-“

“You better think twice what you just said. If she heard about that, I bet you could just get kill and hopelessly feel lost.”

“Well, I guess I wouldn’t be surprise of that since she won a hand-to-hand combat competition twice when she was in high school.” That’s all explain everything even ridiculously makes nonsense about her scary look face all along.

“I see, another information?”

“She always be that harsh towards everyone. Oh, and the best part is, I heard that she already beaten ten bullies in her school that really like twice weight and height of her own.” He explains pretty clearly that makes me curious about something.

“How could you know her so well? Did you just dig out some information about her life instead of stalking?” I asked pretty curious about it.

“Dude, you don’t know? I’ve known her for a long time for sure, she’s my classmate from Junior till High School! Then she moved in with her family to Germany and take college there. I was once try to flirt her instead of asking her on dates, but she keeps not caring about it and I believe that she’s pretty oblivious.”

“So what? You’ve surrender at chasing Mikasa already?” I quirked an eyebrow, I wish he already is, cause I can’t bare with his threatening me to ask Mikasa if about going out with him. He shrugged.

“Meh, I’m still on my way to get Mikasa.” Jean smirked.

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes, speak of the devil. “Oblivious, huh?” I know that she really is, since the way she traits other that way. But as I mull over the way he flirt her, it must be like teasing more than flirting. So, I secondly thought if she’s not really oblivious at all. It depends on how they do it to her.

 

* * *

 

The clock is tick-tocking with the same sound as usual, I stared on my dinner with no reason. There’s no idea why I keep frowning and not in mood to eat, Mikasa seems like she knows I’m in bad mood just now.

“Are you okay, Eren?” She asked gently trying to not making the situation more uncomfortable.

“I’m fine, no worries.” I answered palely.

“Just tell me about it.”

“About what?”

“Everything, everything you want to say.”

I squeezed my head as I looked down to my dinner again. “Where should I start?”

“It’s up to you actually! But if I could know, I’m pretty curious about the dream that you dreamt another day.” She placed her hand at my shoulder. I sighed and shrove the dinner away from me, as I crossed my hand and buried my head in them.

“It’s not a dream or nightmare either, actually.” I answered start to trembling a little when remember about it. “I was eight, it was Friday night. I remembered that time arguing with my parents. I was so selfish and stupid, as I go out to take some walk to refreshing from the hell that just happened in my own home. You know how my parents treated me unfairly, right?” I looked up at her then she nodded gives a meaning if she understood. 

“The train of thoughts makes me went fucking crazy also tearing me apart because I stupidly believed that no one will ever be by my side anymore. Suddenly, I smell something was burnt. As I looked up at the floating smoke and flaming fire, I realized that there’s a fire in an old apartment. I’m running really fast to the spot where it happens, and I saw some fireman already arrived and saving peoples from the inside. I heard someone said if there was a little girl upstairs that still stuck in there cause she locked in her room and the window is blocked already with the flaming debris. But, the fireman refuse to safe her instead of focusing on take down the fire first. She will die in no time of course! 

“Hence, I running in to the apartment and going upstairs to find the girl. Actually I’m pretty scared and regret what I just did, but then…” I squeezed my head harder and buried my head deeper. “A hopeless voice yelling from a locked room and I guess she’s trying to open the door that mainly locked of course. Then of course, I try to smash the door so it will open, but the result I got is my shoulder got hurt and I’m screaming so fucking hard. Looks like the voice from inside stop immediately as heard my voice screaming. Then I heard her voice trying to tell me that there is a key to open the door. She told me to get it in a cupboard then I directly approach the key and opened the door. When I saw her comes out from there, I remember her blonde short hair, also her blue eyes shading that hinted if she just cried. Yet, I can’t believe the color of her eyes is just the same like…” I stopped in a sudden as I remembered about something.

“Like what, Eren?” Mikasa asked curiously as she saw me confused.

“Like the sky…” I continued and realized the sharp eyes I just saw today are exactly the same. No way, of course that makes nonsense. She’s from German! And German is fucking far from here. There’s no way if she’s the one who I was saved from the accident a long time ago. But, then I remembered what Jean said, ‘ _…she moved in with her family to Germany and take college there_ ’ Also the sentence she just said, ‘ _Can’t believe that I will be stuck for two damn months in this town again_!’. My head turning in confusion and trembling at the same time. She said _again_! That hinted if she has lived here once and doesn’t want to be here again. But, I’m sure it wasn’t her. Cause, she is one hundred percent different with the girl from a long time ago.

“Eren? Hey, are you listening?” I just realized that I’m in the reality right now, I feel like I’m still trembling and want to crying out loud. Then I saw Mikasa’s expression, her eyes open wider as she became worried. “Then what happened, Eren? I still don’t understand why are you telling me that story. It seemed not makes any connection with you screaming in nights.”

“No, you don’t understand. It’s still fucking long. The story is still-!” As I stopped in the mid-sentence, we heard that the clock on the wall start to beeping shows us if it’s already 9 o’clock. I sighed and went to my bed, ignore to tell her further about the story. 


	4. Afterward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More detail about Eren's nightmare, Everything getting better with Annie

I dreamt about it again. I remember the first time I saw her. Her eyes shading after cried. Then she pulled me to get out from there in a sudden as I was keep staring at her. And there’s one thing I really want to erase from my memory. The scar, the fresh scar on her right hand that I believed it was burnt by the debris. I was really want to vomit when saw that. But I don’t want to make her hate me, so I just looked away from the horrible view on her hand.

I ran with her holding her left hand, we tried to get outta there but it’s too late. Because the stairs already burnt when I was going to save her. We had no other choice, so I lift her up and running through the flaming stairs. Luckily, we made to get out from there safely. I was too tired and dizzy enough to faint, because I already sucked the helium and ashes from inside. But I still try to restrain it.

After got healed and feel more calmer. I decided to talk and check her out. As I see from a far, her right hand has been cured nicely. The bandage pretty long enough to hid  the scar from view. When I approach and smiled at her, she glanced at me then looked away and start to talk.

“My parents died, I don’t have home anymore.” Some tears shading her eyes once again. “I saw their ashes corpse while the fireman took them from inside, they said that they were burnt under the debris. I was stupid! I was so stupid that I mad at them while they grounded me in my room.” I realized now why she stuck in the locked room by herself, but I wasn’t see any corpse of adults in that room.

“I should know from the first time, that they did that because they want me to understand. But I’m so selfish and shout at them if I want them to die. Then my pray answered in an instant that I never realized it would be like this.” Then remember if I was arguing with my parents, shout at them and stupidly went out by myself.

I was selfish, I just realized that now. “I don’t have anyone beside me now, no one…. No one ever again…” I saw her crying again and remember that I stupidly thought the same if no one will ever be by my side anymore.

I really want to cry right there with her. But I mainly ignore that willing instead of pull her to my embrace. She was stopped crying and shocked from what I just did. That was the first time I hugged someone (even Mikasa never been hugged by me before), then I rested my head over hers and start to tell her something.

“P-please, please don’t say that. You’re not alone in this world. I believe there will be peoples that want to be by your side. For example me, even though I know I can’t be by your side, but you have me now, right?” I received a slow nod from her in my embrace. “I just want you to promise me one thing when you continue your life. Don’t do that, don’t do that ever again.”

I tightened my embrace as I felt a pair of small hands embraced me back and answered me in tremble tone. “I promise, I won’t do that again.” I heard she’s crying again, but I believed it was a relief cry. I’m not good at calming people nerves, cause I’m always got nerves myself. But, I relieved that she’s not worrying about that again.

“Eren, Eren! Oi Eren!” a voice makes me surprised and I was awake once again. With wild, confusion eyes I look around surroundings checking where the hell I am now. Then I locked my eyes with the pair familiar blue eyes I just dreamt. Realized that I’m in my own room just now. I felt some tears are shading on my cheeks when I was dreaming.

“Why on earth are you screaming like that? Don’t you know how scared I was?!” I saw her confused yet frightened on her expression. Then unexpectedly, she hugged me and my eyes open wider. I’m dizzy enough to unable thinking why she did that. Man, I also never realized how ridiculously strong she is. She’s fucking stronger than I ever thought. After some moment I bet, she pushed me away and her confusion eyes change to a sharp glare in serious look.

“Don’t do that, don’t do that ever again!” She said like try to telling me if she hated the way I scream when I was asleep. I nodded awkwardly then saw her walking towards the chair in front of my desk.

Two weeks has past as I could remember, we did still arguing and try to solving about it each other. But, I never thought that she would hug me like that before. Her hug pretty warm that I still could feel it until now. I saw her staring at me again while I wipe the tears that shading on my cheeks (it’s pretty embarrassing enough) and put my eyeglasses on that was put off when I was pretty tired and fall asleep, I believe.

“You know, when you don’t wear that eyeglasses. I could see your turquoise eyes pretty clear. Truly, it’s beautiful. I’ve never seen quite like it.” I choked when I sip some coffee into my mouth. My cheeks once again felt heat and heard a small chuckle under her breath.

“What’s with that chuckle I just heard?” I asked bluntly and looking at her with angry look.

“Nothing, just a sudden, I think. Anyway, what’s with that screaming while you slept? Was that a nightmare?” She asked curiously.

I sighed and looking at the laptop screen to continue working. “No, it was a déjà vu.”

“Déjà vu? It looks pretty bad, then was that bad memories?” she asked and I answered her with a simple nod. “I see, then do you ever try to talk about it with someone?”

“I did once tell Mikasa about it, but still-”

“Mikasa?”

“My foster sister, I lived in an apartment with her. She’s a chief police. It’s been around three years since we started to work.” I answered her with focus typing on my keyboard.

“Then do you ever try to talk about it with someone properly? Like your parents maybe?”

“I’m pretty distant with my parents, it’s the reason why I moved in an apartment with Mikasa. She’s the only one who understand me when I got trouble.”

“But she seems can’t give you a solution to solve that matter. Mind trying to go to psychotherapist?” She asked with a flat tone.

“Seriously? It’s just a dream. I don’t need to go to-“

“Just a dream? You’ve already scaring me enough with that scream of yours and you just say it’s a dream?!” She asked with higher tone than before. She looks like mad at me about it. But, I don’t get what’s the matter of it, she’s not even related with my problem. I guess it’s all because I’ve already make her frightened enough. Then she rolled her eyes and tries to calm herself down.

“Nevermind, sorry for meddling you about that problem of yours.” She said nicely.

“You know, you’re actually fun to talk to. As long as we have the topics to bring in the conversations, we could just get going fine without arguing.” I said honestly because it really is the truth.

“Oh thank you, I never thought a guy like you could say that. But without arguing, is still hesitant.” She answered in amused tone.

I didn’t realize myself that a chuckle comes out underneath my breath. “Yeah, still hesitant.” Then I heard her chuckled about it too.

 

* * *

 

Since then, everytime we’re working together, it’s never been that bad after all. We talked and sometimes laughed. Even though, arguing still fills the conversations sometime. But, it’s getting better and better after we realized that we’re actually alike. I’m always in the high spirits since then. Mikasa seems like she realized that something happened to me, As she ask me about it one day while we were take a walk in a carnival near our apartment.

“Looks like you’re in good mood lately.” Mikasa snorted when I was slurping my smoothie I just bought.

“Pretty rare, huh? But still, how could you find out about it? I’m not even smiling or grinning at you.” I asked.

“You less frowning, it’s a good sign for me, already.” She answered with looking around with amusement lit up in her eyes (even though she still put her bore expressions). I rolled my eyes as saw her reaction like never going to a carnival before. “I heard that you’re working with someone lately, is she the reason why you’re in mood?” I choked as she started quirked an eyebrow. And my cheeks redden once again. I tried to hide it but it seems too late. Cursed that blush!

“Oh, you’re blushing. How sweet it is… I’ve never seen you blushing like that befo-“

“Shut the fuck up already!” I interrupt her faster before she could give me another tease.

“You like her, don’t you? This is the first time I see you in love with someon-“

“For god sake! I said shut the fuck up or else I’ll sent you to a date with Jean right now!” I felt my face turn crimson as she teased me more and more. Then her walkie-talkie beeps as she got something to dealt with in her office. So she left me there, and I sighed in relief.

Thank god, at least I won’t hear another tease from her again. But, it will feel weird enough if I walk at the carnival by my own self. I decided to go back to the apartment, but forgot that the key isn’t in my pocket. Shit! Mikasa brought the key when she’s away. I sighed frustrately and decided to take a walk cause I won’t be able to go home until she’s back. Then I decided to go to a circus (there’s a circus in that carnival). Looks like it has started already. As I took a seat and watch the clowns do tricks at their stage, I heard a mumble beside me telling that the person really hates clowns.

“I don’t get why clowns still sticking in a circus.” When look at the voice direction, I’m startled can’t believe who I just met. The familiar pair of sharp blue eyes, wearing a grey hoodie, with sweatpants. Also a sport shoe that really fits her outfit. Her hair that hidden inside the hood and sassy look on her face. My heart beats faster as I realized if it’s Annie. But I tried to chase my thought away and start to speak.

“If you really don’t like clowns, then why are you still here?” She turned and looking at me in confusion look, she looks like disbelief if I was really there. A smile went on her lips that I never thought.

“You here, never expecting that. You like circus?” She asked me in sassy way that makes me a little pissed off.

“No, I’m here cause I can’t go back since Mikasa accidently brought the key.”

A quiet chuckle just came under her breath. “Then, are you coming here with no reason? or could I say, you hate circus as much as I do?”

“Ridiculously, yeah.” I said responding her question.

“Then let’s go somewhere that more peaceful, have anything in mind?”

“Harbor, the view in night is pretty nice.” I said without thinking any longer.

“Good, then let’s heading there then.” She answered agree with my decision.


	5. Harbor and City Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren should think before he acts

Since it’s not really that far, we take a walk from the carnival to the harbor. There was an awkward silent between us. My heart races faster as I just realized we’re almost arrive at the harbor. It’s really peace and quiet there, the sea wave flows gently as reflecting the city lights. Stars decorating the sky with the moon brights bigger than usual. The breezing of the sea wind pretty cold enough that I don’t bring my jacket with me. But I don’t seem pretty care of it, since I’m too busy thinking about my heart beating more faster than I ever expected.

“You seems pretty cold with the breezing, are sure if we should heading there?” Annie asked after realized that I shiver of the cold.

“It’s fine, I have no problem with that.”

“Really? Was that just an excuse if you’re actually-“ A ripped sound stop her in mid-sentence as I see her right sleeve just hooked into a nail near the fence.

“Shit! Not now!” I heard her grumbled underneath the breath and she has no choice but folded up the ripped sleeve till her upper shoulder. I was tensed when see something that I really want to erase it from my memory a long time ago. The familiar scar on her right hand showed in my view once again. Even though, this time the scar not as worst as the first time I saw it. I’ve guessed that she really is the girl I saved a long time ago. But, doesn’t she realize that I’m the one from back there?

“What the heck with that scar on your hand?” I closed my mouth with a snap. I shouldn’t ask a question like this. Annie gave me a confused stare as I look away from that stare. I heard a resentful sigh and a voice after that.

“It’s from an accident, I got this when I was eight. I know everyone doesn’t like this scar, that’s why I hid it with long sleeves after the bandage taken off.” She glanced at me for a while then turning her view to the sea and rested her arms on the fence. “I could see that from your expression when you saw it. You looked away after that, right?”

“I did looked away, but I looked away because I shouldn’t ask you that quest-“

“I meant when you saved me!” I widen my eyes as finally understood what she was talking about. Annie’s talking about that time, when I looked away from the scar for the first time. I felt so guilty at doing what I just did.

“I know you were really disgust and want to vomit back there, cause myself can’t help but wanted to took it away too.”

“Annie look, I don’t mean to-“

“It’s fine, I understood. Everyone is hated me because of that scar. I always remembered your word that I’m not alone in this world. And that’s true, I got adopted after then by a German family. They took me as their child because Reiner, my older brother want to have a sister that mainly Germany too. Yeah I’m not alone since then, but I don’t have any friends. They keep avoiding me because disgust with this scar. That’s why I always hid it like I said.” I heard her like still feeling regret about having that scar.

“I really hate this scar! This scar gives me nothing but being avoided! Damn it!” Her tone turning to a cry, I immediately hold her hand.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! You shouldn’t say a thing about hating the scar! This is a sign that you’re still survived until now! Who cares about being avoided like that! If you only have to choose from these two choices, being avoided or survived? Which one you choose?!” I shouted at Annie without thinking anymore as I saw her looking at me surprised about what I just said. Then once again I embraced her and start speaking calmly.

“Didn’t you promise me one thing, that you ever not gonna do that again? that you ever not to do something stupid again? What happened with the promise?” Annie doesn’t answer me instead of embraces me back and tightened it.

“I-I’m sorry, I forgot about it. I’m sorry.” I felt her head buried deep in my shoulder and start to cry again. I brush her hair gently and rested my head over hers. The moment we had there makes my heart racing faster. I felt a heat on my cheeks once again. Her tremors become slower that gives a sign if she’s already calmer.

“Thank you.” I heard a slow voice talking to me. “Thank you for saving me back there, I don’t know if I could still survive till now without you saving me. Also, thanks for saving me from the bad thoughts of being alone in this world. I wish I could pay all of it for everything you-“

“You don’t need to, I’m fine. I was pretty confused at first why I wanted to saving you so badly. But I didn’t regret about it cause I learned a lot after that.” I answered  then pulled her away from the embrace to see her face under the city lights. Her sky blue eyes reflected the city lights so nicely. The moon makes her face bright really beautiful. And her hair flowing with the breezy wind of the sea. As I see the tears that streaming on her soaked cheeks, I decide to wipe it out for her. I can’t help it when saw her rosy-like lips look so seducing. I leaned her closer gently as our lips pressed together in a sudden.

The kiss only lasted a fraction of a second after I realized what I’d just done. I pulled her away and saw Annie turns crimson that really rare to be seen. But of course, I believe that I did flush too. I cleared my throat twice before I could speak again.

“I believe that Mikasa has gone home already. I-I better get going right now.” I’m awkwardly left her alone there without say any goodbyes.

 

* * *

 

As I was thought at first, Mikasa already home and left the door open cause she knows that I haven’t home yet. Then I closed it and get ready to sleep at my bed. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I just did. But the warm when our lips met, it’s pretty comfortable. I blushed and heart races faster when remembering the feels behind, even if it’s only lasted some seconds. I also remember the warm of her body spreading through my veins when we embraced. Her hair is really soft, softer than animal fur when I brushed it. But, the thing that makes me more frustrated is what will she response to me tomorrow? What if it will turns more awkward in the conversations? Instead of her hating me? I groaned slowly and then fell asleep dreaming about it for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

“She comes back to Berlin.” My blood vein frozen, the atmosphere turns colder than I ever thought. I felt my lungs stop breathing instead of my heart stop beating. She gone already? But why? Levi toss me a sheet with blue-grey folder as the cover (the color combination remembering me to hers usual suit she always wears everytime).

“You sure what you’re saying? How come? It’s not even two months yet.” Trying to ask him with the same expression even though myself already broken apart.

“It’s a personal reason she said, I guess your pray has been answered. Congrats for that, brat” He congratulates me when myself more regretting the biggest boner I just did. “Anyway, good job so far at cooperating. Cause, I heard that she’s pretty a stubborn like you are.” He continued and left as I started to squish my head.

She left already, Could it be because of that kiss? I can’t believe I won’t see her pair of sweet blue eyes anymore. I doubt myself if I could recreate her lovely face in my memory once again. I don’t even know why I felt kind of these mixture feels in my heart. I thought I really was wanted to get her out of my life, but why am tore with the news about it. Looks like Mikasa was right, I like her. No, I wanted her, I needed her. I really need her to be by my side. I need her warmth against my body. I need her lifeline voice to calm my nerves down. It’s a **need** , not a hopeless wish. After think twice of it, I guess it’s just a hopeless wish that will never be granted anymore.


	6. It's Already Been Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie's reasons and decision

_Annie’s POV_

I’m walking under the silence night, it’s nine already I believe. The street starting to calms down as the civilians went home to meet their beloved family. Except for me, who’s walking absentmindedly without realizing myself really did walk. My head still to dizzy, yet the beats of my heart just got faster as I remembered about the touch between his lips against mine. I never thought of having this feeling, again. Though the last time we met we just hugged, but the feelings behind it…. Is still the same.

When we first met, I still can’t believe I would see him once again. But didn’t he realized if I was the one who he saved? I never doubt if I ask him about it will be the most super embarrassing question, so I decided not to ask anything stupid. I know he’s actually a nice guy, nevertheless he was really stubborn yet a berserk. At that time I was still hesitant if he’s the one. Then after, I can’t help but starting to believe if he’s. When I saw him scream in his sleep, it made me stagger. He shouted at someone in his dream, shouted at them to keep brave going trough this world reality. The words, all of his words just the same he said toward me long time ago. Since that, I decided to act as nice as I could, to help him sooth his recent nightmare.

But that’s not what I want to think right now, what I focusing right now is… what face  should I make when see him tomorrow? Smiling? Hating? Instead of nervous? My brain stop fantasized as the phone I put in my pocket vibrating. With no more concern, I pick that up and a familiar voice comes out from my phone.

“Yes?”

“Annie, are there? I’ve bad news. It’s-“

“Reiner? What’s up? How come you call me at a time like this?” I halted him in sudden as I glance over my watch. It’s 10 already.

“Y-yeah sorry, I-I just wanna let you know that...” there was a pause, I heard his voice turning quietly (and sounds pretty desperate) but still audible to my ear.

“That what?” I break the silence on the line. But he still won’t response it. “I’ll hang it up-“

“No! Wai- Mom and Dad are gone! They got a plane crash while vacation last week.” I froze as he continued the last sentence “I’m sorry for not inform you earlier, I know you were in business trip so I don’t want to ruined it.”

I know he won’t tell me, he understands me for a long time already. Even though he’s only my foster brother, but he’s more than that. Informing some bad news, will ruined my concentration for doing the business. But this news was _important_ , and he doesn’t inform me about it… it’s just-

“I’ll go there.” I said with flat tone and serious voice.

“What? NO! you can’t just cancel it-“

“I said I’m going!” Hanging up the phone without caring what’s his answers. Tears already shaded on my eyes, blurs the vision as I started running to get to apartment faster.

Suitcase, Luggage and everything packed again in no time. I decided to take the airplane midnight cause I don’t want to waste my time. When I almost done with everything, then a folder from my desk fall and become messy on the floor. The blue-grey folder, my brain flashes back the memory I had around some days ago.

.......

_“Were those your favorite color?” Eren said with staring uncomfortably on my folder._

_I responded with a “hmm?” simply without looking back._

_“I said, were those your favorite color?” He repeated, eyes curious and a little bit sassy._

_“Kinda, what’s with that?”_

_“That folder though, also your outfit. It’s blue-grey. I never see… rarely see that color combination before.”_

_“They’re my favorite colors, well actually it’s just grey. But after combined it with blue, I think the grey that was just ‘plain’ turning to a calming colors.” I explained it shortly, then- “What’s yours? Just curious.” I continued._

_“It’s…” there was a kind of long pause “Red? I guess?”_

_“How come?”_

_“Cause it’s fierce? I don’t know, my eyes just feel excited when see that color. So-“ He shrugged then continue typing on his laptop._

_“Not bad.” I said then a  smiled plastered on his corner lips._

Why am I suddenly remembering that at a time like this? I have no time for that, then something hit my head as I realized that I should tell Levi and Bertholdt (my boss) if I canceled this business case. I groaned softly and continue preparing everything that’s undone yet.

 

* * *

 

“You’re leaving?” Levi asked with kind of sleepy eyes (but his expression still the same as usual). I know it’s not a good time to stop by and informing this suddenly. Yet it’s 1 at morning.

“Yeah, sorry for disturbing at a time like this.”

“Why? Why so sudden?”

“My parents are died, and I should check them out. But-“ I paused unable to say the words.

“It’s just-“

Don’t say it!

“Tell Eren if-“

Shit! Stop already.

“It’s only personal things, no more than that.” Oh well, it’s already been said.

“Okay?” Levi answered hesitantly “I’ll tell him that. In other word, have you tell Mr. Fubar and make the-“

“The canceling permission? Yes, here.” I give him the sheet with the blue-grey folder. I don’t know why I give it to him, but I felt like I need to.

After staring at the folder in disappointment (I think), he sighed with heavy voice “Alright, thanks anyway for your collaboration with us. Have a nice trip while on the way back.” Offering his hand in front of me as a farewell.

“Yeah, you have my thanks.” I shake his hand in return.

 

* * *

 

The plane already arrived. After some moments waiting, the passengers now allowed to enter the plane. It’s two thirty as I glanced over the clock at the small screen in front of me. As I look out of the window and saw the blue-green color of a wing on the left side of the plane, I admired the color which is so familiar.

“Turquoise…” I repeated, started to think what’s the connection of that color with myself. I started to smile as I remembered the beautiful eyes I saw twice, when the first time we met and the last time we met also. And now, I don’t think I’ll be able to recreate his ridiculously wide beautiful turquoise eyes in my head again.

 

* * *

 

Three months already passed, I’ve already mourned my parents’ grave when arrived in Berlin. I had that feelings again, the feelings when someone out from my life, and this… this unpredictable heart feels just won’t stop and leave my heart since the last time I met him again in New York.

Since then, everything just felt so worst and odd. My work reputation going down drastically, so I decided to retired and start to help Reiner with his bakery shop. Yes, I moved in to Reiner’s house and live with his family since then, I was usual to lived with my foster parents until I got my own family (one day). But its all ended up like this in such an instant _again_. It’s winter now, I stared at the snowflake that falls beautifully from the sky as Reiner’s children play joyfully enjoying the most breezy season. They’re just really sweet and earnest, was I as same as they do when younger?

“You look pretty hopeless, what is it?” A soft voice breaks the silence and makes me turn my head to the voice direction. Oh! It’s Christa, Reiner’s wife.

“It’s nothing. Just… trying to get usual with the condition.” I answered with looking away. Am I really look that hopeless?

“Ah, are sure? Is it about your parents died still? Can’t get over it, yet?” I shake my head quietly but still visible for her. “Do you miss your old city? I thought you still hate it as much as you could remember.” No answers come from my mouth, still staring out of window absently.

“Is it about the guy that saved you? You haven’t got the chance to see him yet?” My head clicks at the sentence and ridiculously, I felt burn on my cheeks as I remember the memories.

“We kissed before I came back here.” I said simply, no more other words come out.

Her eyes open wider, a disbelieve looks on her eyes. I don’t know what she actually thinks but, I know it’s too late to prepare a barrier for hiding my embarrassment.

“Really? You guys have that relationship already? but I never see you call him, send him message nor do other things that girlfriend and boyfriend do?”

“W-We haven’t be a couple and he doesn’t know the reason why I came back here… yet.”

“Wait! Let me correct it, so you and him kissed with ‘no-special-relationship’ situation and you just left him there without any explanation why you came back here! What if he misunderstood?!”

“What do you mean?”

“I meant what if he got it wrong?! What if he thought that you came back here because you hate that both of you kissed and you try to avoided him?!” I’ve known about that from the first time when I left New York actully. But I’m just trying to not mind that thought. So I let the silence remained around us, I just felt done with those right now.

“You’ll fly to New York tomorrow! I’ll pay for it!” Christa sighed in a serious tone. Thus, I glanced over her and trying to make sure what I heard wasn’t wrong.

“Fly? New York? What the- Why’s that?! No!” I barked at her, telling if I disagree with the idea.

“No can do, you’ll fly at noon tomorrow. Besides, you have nothing to do now right? So go there and get your man!” she winks at me confidently. I don’t get why it should happens to me. I have no mood to see him again agonizingly.

_Inhale_.

I can’t breathe.

_Exhale_.

I better say no.

“Fine.” No! that’s not what I meant!

Don’t continue.

“I’ll go there and get him.” Shit! It’s already been said, yet _again._


	7. First Meeting and Final Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren decided to visits his parents

_Eren’s POV_

Three months passed already. Since her departure from my life once again, from the first time leaving a hole in my heart. The hole won’t regenerate and became deeper as Mikasa started a new happy life with her new family. Yes, she was proposed by Jean last month (surprisingly Jean finally succeed at chasing Mikasa, Also their relationship was growing faster than I ever thought) and moved in to their now lovely house. I did feel happy for her, but now I lived alone in the coldest apartment instead of still having the shitty job.

The job is still worst, yet I haven’t got any promotion to get a higher salary (cursed you, Levi). This is the most frustrating problem I have ever had. Now, I was decided to visit my parents that lived out of city (that still in the old apartment). Even though I’m not that close to them as well, but seeing someone I know, at least could sooth my problem.

The bus seems pretty fast as the road became quieter. The snows fall nicely like try to calming myself from the silence of the atmosphere in the bus. When arrived at my destination, I got off from the bus and walk to my next destination, my parents’ apartment. I really missed this town so badly that I don’t even know why, I passed the park that remembering me with Armin, my childhood friend. I passed the old school I was in a long time ago, then I passed… a place that really familiar and so miserable? Ah, it’s the burned apartment, the place when I met her a long time ago. But now it’s not looks like an apartment anymore, it’s an orphanage. I could see it from the kids that playing outside the building (instead of the plaque that said ‘Shiganshina Orphanage’).

Wait, why am I stopped here? What’s the reason for me to stop absently? No, keep walking dumbhead. Stop thinking of her, seriously. It’s already too much, don’t be a hopeless romantic guy or else you’ll get hurt yourself. But, it’s already too late to regret it. Since an arrow already stab on my throbbing heart. It’s almost painfully killed me to death in slow motion. I did admit this feelings, although there was still a cliff hanger stuck in my mind. A question that hasn’t be answered. Why? Why did she left? What’s the reason for her to go? It is not my business about it, but I kind of involved about it indirectly (I felt like I am).

I sigh frustrated, trying to get off from the train of thought and snapped back to the reality. Just because she’s out from my life (once again), it doesn’t mean the end of the world? Of course it’s not.

As soon as the wind got breezier, I decided to continue the track to my parent’s apartment. And when I lifted my foot towards the street-

“Eren!” A voice… the familiar voice like lifeline that I missed so much struck to my ear, unexpectedly. Eyes wide, I slightly turned my head to the direction as I saw a blurry figure running to me in a rush. I focused my eyes to the person, _wait, could it be…_ before I could process my thought more further, my heart beats faster when the view got clearer. “An… Annie-” I cut midway as Annie slumped against me, tangled her hand around my neck then closed the distance between us so once again, our lips met under the cold winter.

The kiss was chaste, just a soft and gentle touch… but the passion behind it, despite how much we missed for a long time. It also last longer than before, warming our bodies with the embrace instead. I wrapped my arms around her slim waist, pulling her closer to me ‘cause I _desperately_ needed it right now. Eyes slowly closed, savoring the moment, heart hammering but luckily in a nice perfect way. Looks like her soft fingers found a way to trace my hair tenderly then I shivered as the reaction. It felt like forever when our lips brushed, but it was actually just for a moment. I frowned, also moaned quietly as she broke the kiss slowly and I could feel her smirk between the kiss.

“W-What are… what are you doing here?” I said breathlessly, that’s the only question which popped up in my mind right now. “I thought you’ve come back to-” She ‘shh’-ed me with placing her finger on my lips softly. All I could do afterward was just enjoyed her beautiful face under the falling snowflakes.

“I was looking for you,” she said gently, “Because I need you, I missed you, I can’t live without you, I-” there was a pause, Annie buried her head against my chest so I won’t see her slight blush then continued quietly. “I _hopelessly_ am in love with you.” Her grip tightened on my shoulder, I could heard her heart beats as fast as I do.

“But, I thought you… avoid me after… our first… kiss.” I mumbled, unable to form another word as the words I could think right now are ‘Annie’ and ‘Closer’.

“I didn’t, I never wanted to,” The answer made me relieved, “I was gone back to German because my parent died, so I cancel the business trip then immediately leave. You never know how hard it is for me to separate from you _again_ , especially after we kissed for the first time.” I chuckled a little at the statement, resting my head over hers as she continued. “My reputation turned out pretty bad afterward, so I decided to retire then helped Reiner run his bakery with his family. I still really want to come back here and see you but I don’t know when. Until Reiner’s wife fiercely sent me back here just to get you to be my man. You owe her big time, you know?” she chuckled.

“Then how did you find me? It’s not like you have a tracker to stalk me like this?” I snickered, breaking the comfortable silence.

“I went to your office of course, then Levi told me where your actual destination is.” She exclaimed shortly. Now, it’s my turn to say my feelings towards her.

“I missed you too, I missed you so badly until I desperately miserable, I… love you.” Come on! Say something! Say something nicer more! Nevermind, I don’t know what to spit anymore, so I lifted her chin up then leaned forward to plant my lips on hers as the next answer I only have.

“You came…” was the only thing I mumbled after we broke the kiss.

“I came…” she answered back.

“I thought you hate this place, I thought you don’t want to remember your bitter past.”

“I do never want to come back to this shitty place, but if it was you…” she embraced me then hide her head on my neck. “It won’t be a bother for me as long as you are here. Cause you’ll safe me from my nightmares, cause you’ll always be there for me, and also… because I know I’m already yours all this time.” Annie said the last sentence seductively near my ear, teased me until my cheeks changed color.

A smirk plastered on my lips, “Since you are _mine_ basically,” I snickered, tighten my arms that still hung on her waist. “Then I won’t let you go no matter what happens, so you’ll be safe everywhere you go, I’ll accompany you, always, and I could _treat_ you as much as I want to.” I placed my forehead against hers, our eyes intensely make an electricity, which is not exactly. “Just prepare yourself.” I said as seductively as I could, even though its prefer more to a… possessiveness?

“Fine, but you should be gentle with woman, you know?” she grumbled innocently with a lewd face (damn, that’s cute!)

“I’ll give my best shot, your highness.” I dared her, then we continue our kiss so I could feel her warm through my body, I breathed in her scent instead. We stayed like that in a comfortable peaceful silence, none of us want to separate with each other yet.

I glanced to the building next to me. We didn’t realize if the orphan kids were watching us all this time. Some teens hummed in awe and amusement lit up in their eyes, but most children are confused and disgust at the same time. I smirked between the kiss at their various reactions. This place… this is the place when the first time we came in to each other life and now found one another once again.


End file.
